I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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