would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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