M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
