Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize