I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
