and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
