I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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