Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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