u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
