laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize