Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize