that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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