she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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