I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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