If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize