So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
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That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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