i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
