You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
