Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I wish I only lived at night.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You need Xanax blowdarts
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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