R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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