Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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