Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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