He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
OPIZZABONMYDICK
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
