im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize