I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
