oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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