Sry I called you an 8
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
