Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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