I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
handjob tips. give me some.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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