i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
