walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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