call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
