Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
