He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
