This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
