new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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