He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I am mentally ready for anal.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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