i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
