I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize