I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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