I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
