READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
