Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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