I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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