you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
