He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
