i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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