Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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