Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
