she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
