I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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