My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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