let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
