i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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