Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
