Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
