She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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