Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
