someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
