what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
