lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
