kristin has been a bad kristin
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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