He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
